adoptive advice needed

[Laura quinnzy]

Hello,am Laura and am new here,i gave birth two months ago and the decision am about to take now is not an easy one,i did not want to abort the pregnancy because it was my first pregnancy and i was scared to die.What i want is just a good home for this baby and i knew i will get someone to take care of her.I will appreciate your advice and concern.

[Alex]

Laura-
Have you been able to talk to anyone about adoption. That is, have you reached out to an agency or counseling center yet? Also, is there anyone (family or friend) who is with you and supportive of you and your choice?
-Alex

[Laura quinnzy]

not yet ,am new to all that,can you be of help

Alex said:

Laura-
Have you been able to talk to anyone about adoption. That is, have you reached out to an agency or counseling center yet? Also, is there anyone (family or friend) who is with you and supportive of you and your choice?
-Alex

[Alex]

sure thing.... we can do this via private email too, to maintain your privacy. I'll email you through the system....

[Kelsey Stewart]

Laura,
I too am a birth mother. I placed a daughter when I was 20 and twins when I was 22. I have had many years to heal and think about what adoption is. I have heard many opinions on adoption from the entire triad and I have had some time to think and asses this controversial subject. I am here if you need to talk, share some fears, ask for advice. I love that this whole internet thing is around. the first thing I did back in the late 90's was try and find some literature on birth mothers and what I was going to expect during and after. I never found it and relied on my inner strength and faith in myself for doing the right thing. The fact that there are all of these sites out here that help birth mothers, well I think it is just fantastic to have a resource like this!

I would be happy to listen to you, share what I went through, my feelings and how I coped with the grief. I just want you to know that you are not alone and there is no judgement here, I am also saying that I will not try to push my thoughts onto you, I just want to help if I can.

Fell free to contact me and keep believing in yourself,
Kelsey

[Joyce]

Hi Laura,
This is the very first time that I am on this site, but reading your email brings tears to my eyes. I have a 14 year old son, who is my pride and joy. I have been trying to have a baby for the last 2-3 years now with no success even with advanced treatment. Now I am going to seriously consider adoption or foster parenting. I know this is an extrememly difficult decision that you are thinking about, one you should speak about with someone who has experienced this, but please do know that there are very loving people out here that are unable to have children of their own and yern to care for and love a child.
I am wishing you strength in making your decisions.

[Keely]

Hi,
My name is Keely. I am a college student researching adoption for my cultural anthropology class and I wanted to get information from someone with a first hand account. I am adopted myself which is why I have chosen this topic, not only am I interested in this topic but because some of the questions I am asking I want to find out for myself. And what you have writen sounds very interesting and I would like to hear more about what you went through and ask you some questions.. If your interested.
Hope you are,
Keely

Kelsey Stewart said:

Laura,
I too am a birth mother. I placed a daughter when I was 20 and twins when I was 22. I have had many years to heal and think about what adoption is. I have heard many opinions on adoption from the entire triad and I have had some time to think and asses this controversial subject. I am here if you need to talk, share some fears, ask for advice. I love that this whole internet thing is around. the first thing I did back in the late 90's was try and find some literature on birth mothers and what I was going to expect during and after. I never found it and relied on my inner strength and faith in myself for doing the right thing. The fact that there are all of these sites out here that help birth mothers, well I think it is just fantastic to have a resource like this!

I would be happy to listen to you, share what I went through, my feelings and how I coped with the grief. I just want you to know that you are not alone and there is no judgement here, I am also saying that I will not try to push my thoughts onto you, I just want to help if I can.

Fell free to contact me and keep believing in yourself,
Kelsey

[Laura quinnzy]

thanks for your concern i do appreciate your reply and words,its a hard decision to take but i want to belief i will be strong in this.

[Kelsey Stewart]

Keely,
You may contact me anytime. Please send me an email at [e-mail]. Not that I do not want to communicate here, but it might be easier for you to ask the questions if it is direct contact. I may be a good subject because I have recently written and illustrated a children's book explaining adoption from a birth mother's point of view. It took a lot of courage to write that book and my heart and sould went into it.

I will also give you my blog address because there is a wealth of information there as well...personal thoughts, feelings and reasons why I chose adoption. Take a look at "The Journey That Defined My Book" and "Tapestry Books Author Voices".

I think it is great that you are exploring this for yourself. Sometimes those difficult questions can lead to surprising answers. Please let me know how I can help you. I thank you for reaching out to me and would love to express the birth mother's side of this issue.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you,
Kelsey

Keely said:

Hi,
My name is Keely. I am a student researching adoption for my cultural anthropology class and I wanted to get information from someone with a first hand account. I am adopted myself which is why I have chosen this topic, not only am I interested in this topic but because some of the questions I am asking I want to find out for myself. And what you have writen sounds very interesting and I would like to hear more about what you went through and ask you some questions.. If your interested.
Hope you are,
Keely

Kelsey Stewart said:

Laura,
I too am a birth mother. I placed a daughter when I was 20 and twins when I was 22. I have had many years to heal and think about what adoption is. I have heard many opinions on adoption from the entire triad and I have had some time to think and asses this controversial subject. I am here if you need to talk, share some fears, ask for advice. I love that this whole internet thing is around. the first thing I did back in the late 90's was try and find some literature on birth mothers and what I was going to expect during and after. I never found it and relied on my inner strength and faith in myself for doing the right thing. The fact that there are all of these sites out here that help birth mothers, well I think it is just fantastic to have a resource like this!

I would be happy to listen to you, share what I went through, my feelings and how I coped with the grief. I just want you to know that you are not alone and there is no judgement here, I am also saying that I will not try to push my thoughts onto you, I just want to help if I can.

Fell free to contact me and keep believing in yourself,
Kelsey

[Kay Glass]

Hi Laura,
I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to hear how things are going for you and your child. I hope you have found a way to get some advice that is helpful. Placing a child is a lifetime decision, and it can cause pain that does not go away.

I can think of a few websites that I would recommend:

http://www.birthmombuds.com/
http://lilysea.blogs.com/peterscrossstation/2008/02/pregnant-consid...
http://openadoptionsupport.com/

Please be gentle with yourself.

Best, Kay

[Kelsey Stewart]

Ticia,
HOw wonderful to hear that you appreciate and understand the view of the birth mother. The words you have written make my heart light because I now know that there is another adoptee out there who has a healthy outlook on adoption. What a wonderful thing for you to say, and I thank you for expressing it here.
I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
My best to you,
Kelsey

Tricia Wallack said:

Laura,

HI I just became a member here and came across your post. I see it is an older one, yet I want to tell you that as an adopted child myself, that what you are feeling and looking into is the most selfless act any mother can make for her child. You may have many emotions and questions that I am sure so many here will be willing to help you with. I just wanted to tell you as someone who was adopted.. I am forever grateful to my birth mother, for thinking of me and my future during a hard time in her life. May I add that as an adult I was fortunate enough to thank her face to face. I just wanted you to know that and if you should ever want to talk or ask questions to someone on the other side of adoption .. please feel free to reach out. All my best to you and yours... Trish